Butterfingers should not be way up in the vending machine. They should be down near the bottom, amongst their people, so they don't reach terminal velocity before crashing in to the cold cold metal sheeting just below my little anxious fingers.

They always break in two. Either that or the guy who stocks the machine sat on the last box before he restocked.

If Butterfinger made a push today and was looking for a spokesman who would they choose. There is no better alternate than Bart Simpson. Michael Jordan can't hold a candle to Bart's selling power.